Sh*t Online Beer Raters Do (But Shouldn’t)

1. Split a 12 ounce bottle of beer with eight or nine other people and make a rating out of it. If there isn’t more than one bottle to go around, it’s great that you share and your mother would be proud, but beer is not meant to be assessed by the ounce. And speaking of which…

2. Emerge from the GABF or any other festival that limits you to tiny servings with a notebook full of ratings. That’s compounding the sin of the small pour rating with the added issue of making reasonable tasting notes while being jostled on all sides by crowds of merry drinkers.

3. Rate a barley wine at a beer fest on a July afternoon. Beer is contextual, as much or likely more so than any other food or drink, and a monster brew meant for cold nights in front of the fireplace just isn’t going to translate to a stinking hot summer’s day.

4. Expect local bars and breweries to treat you specially because you’re a top rater. Really, get over yourself.

5. Wax poetic over the latest barrel-aged and woefully out-of-balance limited edition alcoholic mess while trashing a beautifully executed take on a kölsch or pilsner simply because it’s golden and people might be able to drink more than one at a time.

Summit Winter Ale Review #66

Summit Winter Ale
ABV: 5.9%
Style: English Strong Ale
Winter Seasonal
12oz Bottle Poured Into A Dogfish Head Tumbler

This unique seasonal beer offers the warmth of an old English pub to help ward off the chill of a winter’s night. It has its origins in British neighborhood pubs where villagers would gather to shake off the damp cold of the bitter English winter. They’d share a pint or two of winter warmer ale by the fire, catch up on local gossip, and stay inside, where it was warm. We’ve brewed our version in the tradition of those winter ales, with a robust, full-bodied flavor and a tangy hint of spices.

Summit Brewing Company
St. Paul Minnesota
Private And Employee Owned
1986
80,000 Barrels

Appearance:
Dark Garnet Brown Color
Hulking Bold Head
Sustained Head Retention
Sporadic Drippy Lacing
Clarity Was So Dark, You Couldn't See Through It Even With A Flashlight 
Heavy Looking Liquid
Great Color Combo Between The Head And Body Of This Beer

Aroma:
Aroma Is Based A Lot On A Nutty Fragrance
Juniper Berry
Roasted Barley
Rich Caramel Aroma
Molasses
Almonds
Touch Of Cinnamon
Truffle

Mouth Feel:
Porter Esq Style But With More Carbonation
Fuller Side Of A Thin Bodied Beer
Sessionable Beer- Goes Down Uncomplicated Enough And Better With Multiply Tastings, But Isn't Overly Interesting
Temperate Subdued Aftertaste
Unhurried Drinkability- A Few Of These Before Bed Will Help With Those Long Winter Nights
Substantial Mouth Feel With A Prickly Touch
Muted And Boring Textured Body
Sweet/Bitter Balance
Roasty Finish At The Wrong Time
Tacky On The Palate, Strategically Trapping Unwanted Flavors, Were My Best Taste Buds Lie

The taste has a slight tangy spice upfront, with a touch of bourbon. Then roasted barley, caramel and some baker’s chocolate. Quite porter like. Mid sip some earthy hops come out and maybe a touch of floral hops. A touch of nuttiness. Spice shows up later in the sip with an earthy and slightly wintery spice flavor. Similar to a hoppy porter. 


2 Out Of 6
Don't Want A Sixer

Pure Relaxation: The Cucumber Lavender Sour

Now, after the busy and stressful holiday season has come to a close, I recommend we all take some time for ourselves to relax. Sure, your favorite go-to cocktail is always a good choice at the close of the day, but a Cucumber Lavender Sour will wrap your soul like a relaxing bath, while refreshing you from the inside out. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t need a little relaxing refreshment this time of year?
Cucumber Lavender Sour

1 ½ oz Hendrick’s gin
¼ oz Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur
¾ oz Sonoma Lavender Syrup
½ oz fresh lemon juice
Dash lavender bitters
Fresh lavender and cucumber slice, for garnish

In a cocktail shaker, muddle the cucumber and lavender syrup. Add the other ingredients with ice and shake well. Pour into a tall glass over ice and garnish with the fresh lavender and cucumber. Sit back, relax and relish in a refreshing cocktail well made

Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout Review #65

Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout
Style: Imperial Stout
ABV:  10.6%
Seasonal
12oz Bottle Poured Into A Victory Brewery Snifter

This is the famous Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout, our award-winning rendition of the Imperial Stout style once made exclusively for Catherine the Great. We use three mashes to brew each batch of this beer, achieving a luscious deep dark chocolate flavor through a blend of specialty roasted malts. We brew it every year for the winter season. It is delicious when newly bottled, but also ages beautifully for years.

Brooklyn Brewery
Brooklyn, New York
Steve Hindy And Tom Potter
Garrett Oliver- Brewmaster
1987


Appearance:
Jet Black Motor Oil Color
"Back In Black" Clarity
Head Was Brawny, After A Aggressive Pour
Tan Muffin Top Head, With Swirls Of Brownie Cake Flesh
Solid Head Retention
Oodles Of Mocha Lace Left On The Glass
Nimble Carbonation
Brew Has Excellent Swirl

Aroma:
Well Layered Aroma
Hop Aromatic
Coffee
Roasted Grains
Espresso
Molasses
Smoke
Dark Dutch Chocolate
S mores Aroma 
Vanilla
Char
Licorice

Mouth Feel:
Like Drinking Melted Chocolate Ice Cream
Let The Beer Warm Up A Bit To Catch The Subtle Nuances
Medium Body- Heaviness Is Held Back, Which Is Odd For A Imperial Stout
Formidable Drinkability
Paltry Sessionable- Will Steal Your Soul If You Drink To Many
Medium Viscosity Textured
Dense And Chunky Palate
Cappuccino Like
Has A Minute Alcohol Burn
Aftertaste Fades Into  Tart Gentle Chocolates
Sweet/Tart Balance
Tart Lemony Finish
Mouth Feel Is Like Slipping On A Pair Of Comfy Velvet Slippers
A Real Lip Smacker
Presentably Balance


The flavor is of sweet milk chocolate upfront. it the transitions to a more mocha, coffee, dark chocolaty roast flavor that lingers. hints of licorice and dark fruit are in there somewhere. In the middle, there are also some spicy smokey flavors, but as it warmed the dark fruits become noticeable. Fig, plum, and purple grapes were present in as a compliment to the chocolate and coffee once this had got to around room temp. Long, burnt malts and coffee finish had a alcoholic warming sensation that accompanied every sip. Well worth the $6.99 for a four pack at the local Total Wine And More. This stout is delicious and will warm the cockles of your heart on a cold winter night.

6 Out Of 6
Want A Sixer

Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout Review #65

Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout
Style: Imperial Stout
ABV:  10.6%
Seasonal
12oz Bottle Poured Into A Victory Brewery Snifter

This is the famous Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout, our award-winning rendition of the Imperial Stout style once made exclusively for Catherine the Great. We use three mashes to brew each batch of this beer, achieving a luscious deep dark chocolate flavor through a blend of specialty roasted malts. We brew it every year for the winter season. It is delicious when newly bottled, but also ages beautifully for years.

Brooklyn Brewery
Brooklyn, New York
Steve Hindy And Tom Potter
Garrett Oliver- Brewmaster
1987


Appearance:
Jet Black Motor Oil Color
"Back In Black" Clarity
Head Was Brawny, After A Aggressive Pour
Tan Muffin Top Head, With Swirls Of Brownie Cake Flesh
Solid Head Retention
Oodles Of Mocha Lace Left On The Glass
Nimble Carbonation
Brew Has Excellent Swirl

Aroma:
Well Layered Aroma
Hop Aromatic
Coffee
Roasted Grains
Espresso
Molasses
Smoke
Dark Dutch Chocolate
S mores Aroma 
Vanilla
Char
Licorice

Mouth Feel:
Like Drinking Melted Chocolate Ice Cream
Let The Beer Warm Up A Bit To Catch The Subtle Nuances
Medium Body- Heaviness Is Held Back, Which Is Odd For A Imperial Stout
Formidable Drinkability
Paltry Sessionable- Will Steal Your Soul If You Drink To Many
Medium Viscosity Textured
Dense And Chunky Palate
Cappuccino Like
Has A Minute Alcohol Burn
Aftertaste Fades Into  Tart Gentle Chocolates
Sweet/Tart Balance
Tart Lemony Finish
Mouth Feel Is Like Slipping On A Pair Of Comfy Velvet Slippers
A Real Lip Smacker
Presentably Balance


The flavor is of sweet milk chocolate upfront. it the transitions to a more mocha, coffee, dark chocolaty roast flavor that lingers. hints of licorice and dark fruit are in there somewhere. In the middle, there are also some spicy smokey flavors, but as it warmed the dark fruits become noticeable. Fig, plum, and purple grapes were present in as a compliment to the chocolate and coffee once this had got to around room temp. Long, burnt malts and coffee finish had a alcoholic warming sensation that accompanied every sip. Well worth the $6.99 for a four pack at the local Total Wine And More. This stout is delicious and will warm the cockles of your heart on a cold winter night.

6 Out Of 6
Want A Sixer

Chimay Rouge(Red)/Premiere Review #65

Chimay Rouge(Red)/Premiere
Style: Abbey Dubbel
Tappist Beer
ABV: 7%
Widely Distributed 
11.2oz Bottle Poured Into A Chimay Chalice

Chimay Brewery
Scourmont Abbey
Hainaut, Belgium 
Created By Monks
1862


Ingredients: Pilsner malt (French barley from Champagne); wheat starch or flour (10% - 15%); dextrose (5%); malt extract (0.1%); hop extract from German Hallertaur (aroma) & American Galena (bittering) hops. Yeast & liquid invert sugar added to the bottled beer.
Chimay Red is noted for its coppery colour which makes it particularly attractive. Topped with a creamy head, it gives off a light, fruity apricot aroma produced by the fermentation. The taste perceived in the mouth is a balance confirming the fruity nuances noticed in the fragrance. Its taste, which imparts a silky sensation to the tongue, is made refreshing by a light touch of bitterness. To the palate, the taster perceives a pleasant astringency which complements the flavour qualities of this beer very harmoniously. This top fermented Trappist beer, refermented in the bottle, is not pasteurised. 

Appearance:
A Warm Rusty Red Color
Galaxies Of Small Bubbles
Voluminous Creamy Head
Reserved Head Retention
Offshore Film Of Lace Settled On The Glass
Blurred Clarity
Supple Carbonation Set To A Audible Fizz
A "Gusher" Beer- Beer In Sink With A Angry Sad Human Watching Said Beer Go Away
(Beware Do Not Lose This Masterpiece Of A Concoction)


Aroma:
Dandelions
Apricot
Yellow Apples
Cherry
Spice Aroma- Ginger Snap Cookies
Good Dose Of Some Tappist Funk
Banana
Abbaye De Scourmont's Distinctive Yeast
Raspberry
Mint
Brioche
Green Bell Peppers

Mouth Feel:
Solid Structure With A Tight Acidity (Yogurty) Finish
Effortless Drinkability- No Sting In This To Slow You Down
Sweet/Bitter Balance- A Tranquil Balance Between The Two Opposites
Has A Gratifying Sessionable Feel 
Multifarious Layered Ale
Naturally Fresh Palate
Light To Medium Bodied Ale- Thought The Body Would Have More Of A Condensed Feel
Bittersweet Aftertaste That Lingers On The Back Of Your Tongue
Diabolical Raw Texture
A Engagingly Inoffensive Beer  
Low IBU Makes This Beer Ageable
"Monktastic"
Champagney No Chimayney

Similar to the nose, The taste confirms the fruity aromas with a singular blend of plums, apricot, and cherry. Quite malty with just enough hop bitterness to make the whole thing really refreshing.  A sweet, dark bready malt taste provides for the base and a lot of the flavor. Mid sip to the finish some fruitiness comes out with raisin and plum being the strongest with it being on the lighter side of a dark fruit flavor. Some spice, cinnamon and clove, along with a hint of bubblegum also come out. Like the aroma, it reminded me of a sweet dark bread with some pieces of fruit in it. Good option to bring to dinner at a non craft beer person's house. Some macro beers are chicken nuggets and french fries to Chimay's lemon roast chicken and a bed of watercress. Chimay Blue is still the lead singer, but red is a good back-up vocalist.

3 Out Of 6
Want A Sixer, But Prefer Chimay Blue

La Trappe Quadrupel Review #65

La Trappe Quadrupel
Style: Abt/Quadruple
ABV: 10%
Part Of Their Tappist Beer Line
11.2oz Bottle Poured Into A La Trappe Chalice

The strongest of the special beers. Its flavor is full, mild and pleasantly bitter. Quadrupel is presently available in the autumn, is bottled by the year and is perfect company for those long winter evenings.

De Koningshoeven Brewery (Brouwerij de Koningshoeven)
Dutch Tappist Brewery
Berkel-Enschot, Netherlands
Monk Operated
1884

Appearance:
Scarlet Mahogany Color- A Bit Light For The Style
Beige Colored Swirling Head
Worthwhile Head Retention
Misty Lace Around The Glass
Bleary Clarity With Live Yeast
Biting Carbonation

Aroma:
Golden Syrup
Rum
Cinnamon Sticks
Dates
Red Apples
Bubblegum
Raisins
Prunes
Strawberry
Cotton Candy


Mouth feel:
Has Similarities To A Weizenbock
Full Bodied- Powerful Bodied Beer
A Nice Sipper, Don't Rush Enjoy
Dangerously Sessionable- The ABV Will Play Peek A Boo With You
Fruit Melange Mouth Feel
Sweet Balance Not Overpowering Thought
Cakey And Bready Finish
Lubric And Moussy Texture
Aftertaste Linger Of Prunes That Were Dipped In Brandy
Moist And Tangy Feel
"Meditation" Beer
Solvently ABV Quality That Overwhelms Some Of The Flavors

  Flavor is well balanced, but a little alcoholic. Flavors of buttery diacetyl mend well with the apple flavor to make a caramel apple that is sweet up front. Some floral plum flavors as well. Bready malt, and did I mention alcohol. It becomes more fruity/estery as it warms, but too many of these will make for a head banger of a morning. Light spicy yeasty finish with plums. Semi sweet aftertaste, but just enough not to be cloying. 
A divine take on the quadruple style of Belgium. Is it a style? Some argue no, some argue yes. The fact that Belgian brewers still designate some of their darkly rich decadent brews as quadruple is enough for me. Sometimes what’s in a name is just a name, but as for what’s in the bottle…   

4 Out Of 6
Want A Sixer