Five Traits of Hardcore Philadelphia Phillies Fans

The following information is intended for serious Philadelphia Phillies fans only. Everyone else can click elsewhere right now.


A heavenly view of the Phillies home at Citizens Bank Park.
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There are many ways to know that you are truly a hardcore Phillies fan. Here are five of your traits:

Five traits #5: Not overly demanding

You were mad that your favorite online site didn't have a laptop in the exact red Phillies hue that you requested. So, you have refused to shop there ever since and have messaged everyone you know suggesting that they do the same.

Five traits #4: Focused on what matters most

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Whenever you saw anything Phillies related this offseason on your smartphone, computer screen, a highway billboard or on a restaurant place mat, your attention was drawn to it like Hunter Pence to the locker room buffet after a win.

You are also reading this outrageously cheeky article, fully knowing that it's contents are far more important that any supposedly 'important' work that your boss annoyingly wants done by the end of the day.

Five traits #3: Engaged in digital video therapy

Enraging content alert just ahead. Skip to the next section, if you must.

Immediately after the New York Yankees, San Francisco Giants and St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Phillies in three successive playoff seasons, you found yourself drowning your sorrows in a repetitive digital fashion.

After pulling out that Brad Lidge narrated 2008 highlight reel, "Perfect Season", you watched it over and over until your DVR simply stopped accepting your replay commands.

Five traits #2: Dreaming of prime real estate

While you enjoy your current living space, ideally you would prefer to actually establish residence within Citizens Bank Park.

This very logical consideration makes sense because the open-air facility has numerous quality food venues, family-friendly seating areas, the ultimate HDTV screen, a large park-like grassy area where your children can play and easy access to the highway for a quick commute to work and school.

Five traits #1: Baseball connections trump all other relationships

Every hardcore fan fully appreciates the massive importance of the Phillies in their lives. It has been your experience that connections with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors and other acquaintances is important to a degree. However, all of those life links must be connected to your team in order for you to tolerate them.

If it came down to it and at times it has, you've had that 'talk' with others to inform them that your not sure if you have enough in common to move forward in your relationship. Being open-minded, you even gave these misguided souls, the phony "it's not you, it's me" line with the faint hope that they would come to their senses and see things your way.

Since most don't, you instantly recognize that you are much better off being rid of them and get back to watching the game as they leave you alone in peace with your team.

Extra innings

One other way to know that you love the Phillies is the sense of humor that you share with other fans.

After so many challenging seasons, you are rightfully in a happy place in your baseball life and value the importance of this team's current run. You also know that fans of some other teams aren't at the same place in their sporting lives and don't like the fact that you and your kind are enjoying yourselves.